Isolation is a trick of the enemy who desires us to spend more time in isolation and less time in the company of others. Why? Because when we are isolated, there is more space and opportunity for negative thoughts to run rampant.
Trust me, I know all about pain and isolation
When I was at the peak of a past emotionally toxic and abusive relationship, I would put on a good show while around others. I would smile, and my exterior would exude that I was well. However, that was not my reality. On the weekends, I would go to the liquor store, turn off my phone and isolate myself from those who cared about me and my overall mental health and wellbeing.
My thoughts fed me lies like my family and friends did not want to be bothered by my mess, especially as I was in a cyclical cycle of, I’m done. Ok, but this is the last time. So, I excluded them from my reality. For the most part, they knew what was going on, but my intent was to keep them out as much as I could.
In that isolation, I made horrible decisions. One, I was drinking excessively. Two, I was stuck and struggling between walking away from that toxic situation, the manipulation, and lies from the other person involved. Three, I battled with self-doubt, worthiness, purpose, and a sense of being. And that’s just to name a few.
Community is essential; Isolation is unsafe
As a Christian life coach and care counselor, I know the significance of allowing others into what we are carrying. First, God wants us to bring our burdens to Him because He loves us that much (1 Peter 5:7). Additionally, we were created to do life together, in community with one another (Hebrews 10:24-25). Lastly, we can also find comfort in community with others (1 Corinthians 1: 3-5).
Isolation can be detrimental and can amplify the pain. According to this article, people suffering from chronic pain such as fibromyalgia, myofascial pain, migraine, and neuropathic pain have an invisible illness that by itself can be isolating. A lack of everyday routines and daily human connection triggers an increased risk of stress, depression, and anxiety. This article says that Human beings are social creatures and require the stability and comfort of regular human interaction. Without it, there are very real consequences that go well beyond simply being sad or wishing you had more friends.
Few ways to begin to let others in
Determine who (in your inner circle) can be a trusting and safe space and for you to be open and transparent with, without judgment: This is vital in your ability to be vulnerable in those moments that you want to hide and suppress.
Seek counseling if necessary: Sometimes, the trauma and pain you’re enduring will require therapy/counseling on the healing journey. Don’t be afraid to tap into those resources. Counseling is often stigmatized, but it can be a blessing.
Seek coaching to help you progress. Coaching can help you go from where you are to where you are destined to be. Although coaching doesn’t touch much on past trauma and roots, a coach can be an asset to help you discover the tools to overcome and to grow toward your destiny and victorious life in Christ.
Seek a personal relationship with Christ. In Christ, we are a new creation, the old things fall off, and we are made new (2 Corinthians 5:17). If open to the change that can happen during the sanctification process, the healing and transformation process can be a beautiful thing.
I finally decided to let a friend into my despair during my emotional trauma. I knew there was more to life than the rut that I was experiencing. She recommended I go to church and that one invitation is what turned things around in my life. It was a journey and a process, but one well worth it. It is my relationship with Christ that I began to understand my true value and worth.
If you feel alone, like you’ve lost your sense of direction in life or like no one understands, I would love to walk alongside you on a path to a better you. Let’s chat.