I hope this blog finds you well. As you might have noticed, it’s been a while since my last post. I stepped away and took a little break. It wasn’t intentional, but it was necessary. I stumbled upon a place of drought around mid-August where I desperately needed to hear God’s voice, but for some reason, I just couldn’t. I was yearning to feel His presence, but instead felt super distant, and I couldn’t fathom how I could encourage others while I was in need myself. I know His word promises that He’ll never leave nor forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6) and I know the Holy Spirit resides in me (Ezekiel 36:27), but I somehow still felt out of alignment. As I’m sitting here typing this, I’m listening to Tye Tribbet’s song: The Worship Medley and he says, “I might slip up and miss the mark, I make the wrong choices, but I’ll love, and I’ll worship you forever.” Which reminded me that despite the circumstances, it’s imperative that I continue to worship God and give Him all the Glory. In my moments of reflection, the Holy Spirit showed me the following reasons why I might have felt distant:
1. Out of accountability: When engaged in a discipleship ministry, I’m assigned an accountability partner for the duration of the journey. Well, my church goes on sabbatical for approx. 6 weeks in the summer and during that time is when I approached my season of drought and was out of accountability/covering. That’s not entirely because I wasn’t actively involved in a discipleship ministry, but rather because I didn’t make the necessity known. One of the most beautiful things I gained from these ministries are the standing relationships - I have several sisters in Christ that could have covered me during that time. This is why community and transparency are vital during your walk with Christ. (Ecclesiastes 4: 9-10)
2. I was distracted: Distractions is certainly another reason why I couldn’t find peace in God’s presence. For instance, I went to New Orleans for a work conference in mid-August with a few co-workers. During that trip, there were several times, I felt the nudge to go to my room and do something purposeful, but I instead engaged in other activities. Statements like “Come on, girl. I didn’t come all the way to New Orleans to sit in my room” took residence over the necessity to separate myself and be still. I had a dear sister-friend who also attended the conference who utilized her time wisely and was very intentional about her quiet time with the Lord. If I could turn back the hands of time, I would’ve followed her lead. I use the New Orleans trip as an example because that time frame was really when I started feeling the separation and, unfortunately, the season of distractions persisted through October. Distractions are just that – they interfere with God’s presence and space in your life. They are a purpose killer. (Galatians 1:10)
3. Lack of daily devotional: The consistency of my devotional time dwindled towards the beginning of August. I went from having faithful daily morning devotional, which included a 6-6: 30 am Christian teaching segment by Christine Caine, on the Hillsong Channel, to just waking up and going about my day. I would engage in a daily devotional here and there, but it wasn’t nearly as routine as before. I don’t know about you, but when I meet God early in the morning, it just sets the tone for my day. No matter what lies ahead, I am ready to face it and conquer because I know God is in the midst. (Matthew 6:33)
In October 2018, I went on a Missions Trip to Cape Town South Africa with 12 AMAZING Women! It was one of the most beautiful and humbling encounters I’ve ever experienced. It never ceases to amaze me, when serving in a mission’s capacity with the intent to impact the lives of others, God uses those very situations to change the lives of those serving. We volunteered at a Children’s Daycare in the Masiphumelele Township by day and at an outreach surf camp in the evening; where these kids are living off the very bare minimum, yet exude an exorbitant amount of contentment and happiness, despite. My God! When people ask me about the Missions trip, my reply is “It was a supernatural experience,” and indeed it was from the beginning to the end. I will forever be indebted to that experience. It was during that trip that I received the revelation and confirmation of God’s presence that I needed. The truth is, He never left, I just needed to find my way back into His presence. I returned home with a "Reset" state of mind, memories that will last a lifetime, and new friends/family that I acquired on the Mission to Cape Town.
See, the latter half of last year was rough, but like anything else, I had to go through it to get to where God needs me in this next season - that’s another post within itself. I’ve learned, the beautiful thing is that no matter how far I may drift, Daddy is always waiting for me with open arms. What kind of human love equates to that? Human relationships can/will fail you, but God’s love will never fail. Thank You, Lord!!
Heavenly, Father! I thank You for each one of your daughters reading this post. I pray this post will be a beacon of encouragement to them whether they are in a season of feeling distant from Your presence or just in need of prayer. I pray that you will meet them right where they are. May they be surrounded by Your comfort and every lasting love.